Today, in the interest of fairness I am posting links to what other people think about gay marriage:

Re-Re-Clarifying My Position on Gay Marriage from GayPatriot

Killing the Institution of Marriage: Denying Gays the Right to Marry from Bandit Talks

Gay Marriage: The arguments and motives. A personal essay by Scott Bidstrup

GatorGSA 12 reasons why homosexual marriage is "bad" and why gay people should not be allowed to get married. This one is pro-gay its a spoof on the original.

Distinguishing gay marriage and polygamy from Althouse

A Simple Answer to gay marriage from Montag….

In 28 years of life, with nearly half of those spent out of the closet, my preference toward monogamy hasn’t changed. I do not consider myself an expert but I have some life experience and a generally intuitive nature. My choice is to be in a one on one relationship. I do respect those who choose alternatives. I choose not to participate in sexual encounters with guys in a relationship of any form. I do not look down upon them for making that choice but I do require they respect my choice as it applies to me.

I do not accept that I need to ‘grow up’ or ‘get over it'. There is no reason why my choice has to agree with yours. I have examined it and debated it. I have listened to the arguments of strangers and the experiences of close friends. I have yet to encounter anyone who can answer the following question with anything other than self-serving excuses designed to justify an immature desire to partake in promiscuous behavior.

What is it that you need from someone else that you can’t get from your partner?

The answer, if that person is your soul mate, is nothing. If the person is not, then what is the point of the relationship?

That difference of ideology can be harder to accept but makes my opinion no less valid. Some couples feel the need to defend the status of their relationships. I cannot help but wonder how secure they really are with their choice if they feel that threatened by the knowledge of my choice. Not everyone is willing to practice monogamy, even in the heterosexual community. I support your right to make that decision.

Most people would agree a minority student should be allowed to attend an Ivy League college. Few people would agree with allowing that student to graduate with grades considered failing for the other students. It would hardly be fair to the students who studied hard and earned their degrees.

Marriage, like higher education is a privilege. I support the right to enter into an institution and enjoy its rewards. I do not support the right to enter into an institution, under false pretenses or if you have no intent to honor its principles, to reap benefits you do not deserve. That should not be a radical concept.
At the same time we fight for the right to same-sex marriage, we accept sexually permissive relationships in our community as normal committed bonds. We cannot expect to win the right to gay marriage when we cannot answer the challenge that we will destroy the meaning behind it.
I have one final note. I am going to reiterate this so that I am clear and I know all the non-monogamous gay men will hate me. So be it. While I believe same sex couples should have the same opportunities as heterosexual couples I do not think couples with an open relationship should be entitled to the same rights as a monogamous couple.

Equality is the state of being Equal…

I don’t think society is ready to grant homosexuals the right to marry. I’m not citing the heterosexual resistance to the concept. I’m suggesting that neither side understands the enormity of what we are asking for.

Marriage is a legal relationship between spouses. Let’s consider for a moment the legal implications of gay marriage. Equal rights also mean equal responsibilities. You cannot select which parts suit you and which do not.

The bonds of matrimony are legally defined in terms of a monogamous relationship. Even heterosexual open marriages, though sometimes agreed upon, are not legally accepted. Adultery is grounds for a fault divorce and in some states criminal prosecution. The gay community has a much higher incidence of this type of relationship as compared to heterosexuals.

What would the legal standards be for gay couples in open relationships who decide to marry? How would you prevent one or the other from making erroneous claims of adultery if the matter of divorce arose? Would they have to sign a document similar to a prenuptial and if so is that still equal rights?

The social challenges of gay marriage are more subjective, though no less real. The potential for failure is staggering. The transitory nature of most gay relationships doesn’t fit with the requirements of marriage. The rapid style in which gay men enter into relationships is only part of the problem. The ease with which they accept defeat when they reach an obstacle is the real demon.

Organized religion, family, friends and co-workers all support heterosexual couples in working through issues. They are a source of encouragement and counsel but more importantly, they hold the expectation that a couple will abandon their bonds only after exhausting all available options.

Not all of those traditional support systems are available to the average gay couple. Without them, what is there to prevent a gay divorce rate that would dwarf the already staggering 31% in the straight community?

Straight people enter into bad marriages, are subject to infidelity and get divorced. That doesn’t mean we should as well. Certainly, there are emotionally mature couples in traditional stable committed relationships that are ready to be married today but they are not in the majority.

Changing laws is one thing, changing minds takes much longer. The civil rights movement fought a prejudice based something tangible, namely skin color. No matter how many jokes were told in poor taste, no one really wondered if ‘the black will rub off on you’.

The gay rights movement is fighting a prejudice based on something, which as of yet, is intangible, our sexual orientation. According to the Kinsey experiment ten percent or less of the population are fully heterosexual or homosexual. Given that fact, when they hear similar jokes how many people really do worry that ‘the gay will rub off on you'?

I’m not implying that straight people are perfect or that we are less worthy of the same rights as they are. I am not against the advancement of gay rights. Maybe real reform should include the redesign of civil unions to deal with open relationships gay or straight and challenging all couples with practical requirements before granting a marriage license.

I’m just asking that we be honest about our intent and goals. There is no legislative quick-fix to our problem. If what we want are sweeping changes, both legislative and social, perhaps we should clean house first. That way we’ll know what to ask for and be ready to get it when they are ready to listen.

Note: There will be one final post in this series. I will warn you ahead of time that it deals with how these ideas relate to me personally will probably offend some(more) people.