I'm gonna need a shot!

The Dax Quotient at Bars:
* If at any point in the evening tequila is consumed there will be drama
Corollary ~ The amount of tequila consumed is directly proportional to the amount of drama
Corollary ~ As the amount of tequila consumed increases so does the likelihood of you dancing on the bar

* If the hot new bar you’ve been dying to check out finally opens, it’ll be full of lesbians
Corollary ~ The number of lesbians in the bar is directly proportional to the chance there’ll be a fight

* The volume of music in a dance club is inversely proportional to the average age of the club goers
Corollary ~ If the music is too loud for you, the guys are too young for you

* At a drag show the amount of glitter used is inversely proportional to talent

* The amount of trouble you will get into is inversely proportional to the number of friends you are with

* In a full bar if there is one guy who creeps you out, you will be the one he thinks is hot

* The fewer hot guys in the bar the nicer the bartender will be to you
Corollary ~ The hotter you are the stronger your drinks will be

* The number of drinks you’ve had is directly proportional to the magnetism of the guy hitting on you at the end of the night and inversely proportional your attraction to him the next morning

Where's the fashion fairy when you need her?

The Dax Quotient On Style:
* The willingness of your hair to do what it’s supposed to is inversely proportional to the importance of the event
Corollary ~ Your hair will be effortlessly perfect, when you‘re about to go swimming.

* Your ability to put together a stylish outfit will be inversely proportional to the number of people who will see it
Corollary ~ You will look super cute in the clothes you threw on, to clean the basement.
Corollary ~ The shirt that matches your eyes perfectly, will have a stain and be the last one in your size
Drag Corollary ~ The pumps that match the hot dress for your new number, are one size too small

* Light colored clothes will attract liquids, Dark clothes will attract powders
Corollary ~ If you wear black a drag queen will hug you and get foundation on you
Corollary ~ If you wear white someone drinking cranberry will spill on you
Corollary ~ If you wear white pants you will sit on something(and why are you wearing white pants?)

*You will inevitably forget to do the laundry before a night out on the town
Corollary ~ The jeans that make your butt look good will be in the wash
Corollary ~ Your only clean t-shirt will have a spot on it
Corollary ~ You will have to iron at the last minute because the shirt you’re wearing to cover the spot and your butt, is wrinkled

*If are having a bad hair/clothes day and decide go out anyway you will run into everyone you know
Corollary ~ Any Ex's who NEVER go out, will

Dance like nobody's watching…
'Cause We are, and we need a good laugh!

Ever have something turn out perfectly, only to realize there‘s no one there to appreciate it? No, I’m not trying to wax philosophical or be melancholy about some aspect of being single. Didn't you know there's a version Murphy's Law for Gay Men? Well there is, it's called the Dax Quotient and it reads like this:

‘If there’s any way drama can happen, it will’

Check out all the different ways the Dax Quotient applies to gay life and send me some of your own ideas…