First Lesbians were hot, next commercial Metro-sexuality erupted, before you knew it Gay became trendy. All of this pop-culture attention bringing us to the forefront of American awareness and shocking our opponents, so began the onslaught. The political right, the religious extremists, the homophobes all see cracks in their status quo, thus prompting them to attempt to push us back in the closet and lock the door.

The gay community, having tasted acceptance, wants to fling that door wide open though. What does any minority group being shut out do? They grab any attention possible in the most outrageous controversial way possible, like a child misbehaving to get noticed by a parent. The difference is they are not our parent.

Suddenly, the gay community is praising pop TV shows like “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” and “Will and Grace”, conveniently ignoring times when they are laughing-at-us rather than laughing-with-us. At rallies and pride events we respond be shoving the sexual part of our homosexuality in their face. There are repercussions though.

After a short time, a sort of anything goes attitude develops and the meaning of the cause gets lost. Soon the average homo loses touch with the radicals and begin to distance themselves from ‘the fags’.

Personally, I’m tired of conceding things I like. There are some things I don’t like about the gay community but I don’t want to give away my gayness. Where would that leave me? Instead of giving away gay it’s time we took it back.

This year as gay pride races into full swing we need to remember what being gay is about. It’s not about our sexuality. It’s about who we love. It’s also important to keep this in mind as we fight for gay marriage. It’s ok to want something but you need to be prepared in case you get it. We’re regularly called upon to defend homosexuality on many levels. Personally, I like to be solidly behind what I’m defending. And yet when I’ve challenged poor behavior from gaymen, I get one of three responses:

‘don’t impose your morals on me’ .

Morality is not a four letter word. Sure, there are lofty standards that few would aspire to but there are also basic tenets that no one can deny. We don’t live in an anarchist so society, laws are nothing more that commonly held morals. You don’t force unwanted sexual advances on someone. You don’t cheat on your spouse (I’m NOT referring to open relationships). Those are just two easy ones.

‘how can you judge me for being gay’

When did poor behavior become synonymous with being gay and who better to judge you than another gay man(your peer)?

or ‘you’re just bitter’

I am the least bitter person you could meet. Disillusioned? Maybe. Concerned? Definitely.