It started out as a symbol of freedom. I was free from my parents and school. I was an adult, free to do whatever I chose. What was my big adult freedom? I got my ear pierced. Not in the ordinary way of course, that wouldn’t be any fun. I went to a body-piercing studio and had a ring put in my upper ear cartilage.

It was different and fun. It was the perfect blend of not weird but unconventional. I loved it, until someone else didn’t. While in a relationship with a much older partner I allowed myself to be convinced, that it just didn’t look good on me. In a very un-me-like moment I agreed to get rid of it. (it was a very un-me-like relationship over all)

When that ended, not only did I get it put back in, but I also added two more, mainly out of spite. Again, I was happy, for a few years.

Then I decided that I wanted an edgier look. The trouble was what could I get that wouldn’t be too painful and wouldn’t affect my job. At the time, I was a branch manager for a fine jewelry company, so I couldn’t do anything to my face. In the jewelry biz, having an edgy fashion-forward look is a plus, but no one buys diamonds from a pincushion.

 In the end, I decided to add two more rings to my ear for a total five. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it definitely felt like it was complete.

 I kept that look for about a year and a half. I liked my piercings but at a glance they blended together to look like a bunch of metal instead of jewelry. I wanted them to make an impact and be artful. For weeks, I considered how to accomplish this without adding any more piercings.

Then one day, while playing with the lowest ring (which I like to flick up and down), it finally hit me. Most times when you’re trying to make a strong statement without going over the top less is more. I headed straight to the piercing studio where I had them remove two of the rings and change the lowest one to a heavier gauge.

Voila! I had a look that I absolutely loved. It was just far enough out there to be fresh and edgy, without looking freakish, and it looked like it was planned from the start.

Recently, with my impending 29^th birthday less than two weeks away, I’ve been thinking a lot about getting older and growing up. For some reason I feel like the piercings are part of my youth that it’s time to give up. I took them out and I can’t say that anyone has noticed.

I’m not really sure what that says. I’m also not 100% sure how I feel about the whole thing. If I leave them out much longer, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to put them back without re-piercing (the skin around cartilage closes fast). In a way, I kind of miss them and yet I feel silly about putting them back.

 Is thirty the age when you have to grow up? Is there ever a time for that or am I just having crazy birthday anxiety?